'sunday morning tears' by Denise Butwill

After a conversation with Pastor Paul I had a few ideas for a blog entry floating around in my brain. Some time later I went as far as to create an outline in a word document, but never did more.

On a seemly unrelated note, finishing one book and looking for another to start I picked up my son’s summer reading book, The Color of Water: A black Man’s Tribute to his White Mother by James McBride (excellent read by the way). I was touched by this book in many ways, but in particular by one scene where the author and his mother are in church, and the mom is crying. She is crying because God makes her happy. Ah I think I cannot wait until Kevin reads this part, maybe he will understand his mother’s Sunday morning tears. Well this was a Saturday evening, the next morning during service, pastor Paul quotes C.S. Lewis in his sermon: “We read to know we are not alone”.  Yes I think – that’s right let me tell you about what I read last night.

Some of you may have noticed my Sunday morning tears, especially friends in the choir. Like McBride’s momma, it is often the singing of a favorite or touching hymn that starts the tears. But unlike McBride’s mother my son has seen me cry plenty, especially during these letting go years. I wish someone had warned me to bring tissues before I sat through Toy Story 3 to watch Andy decide what to do with his toys as he prepares to head off to college.

Why do I cry? I cry because my children are growing up, my tears are both in mourning and in wonder at the people they are becoming. My father is terminally ill, I cry for the injustice and for joy because he is still enjoying a good quality of life. When I read the paper I cry for the family torn by violence and for the criminal that could be driven to such acts. And on Sunday mornings in Salem church I cry for all these reasons and because I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit dwelling in and around us sustaining us and making us  humble for all we could be. For in no other place on such a regular bases do I feel these words come alive Matthew 18:20 (NIV) “For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.” I cry because I am happy to be a part of God’s church family. Thank you Salem.